The cat watched. It had all the time in the

The cat watched. It had all the time in the world. Not the mouse, though. It knew the gig was up, and so it moved into Plan B. It stood on his hind legs and

began to recite "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat" in elaborate flourishes of Shakespearean English. The invocation worked, and soon the shadow of the great horned owl

ripped across the floor and up his leg. Its shadow seemed to consume the full moon's light in swirls on the wooden floor. The owl advanced from the window sill proceeded by the cat

both intent on killing the climbing mouse. It was talon versus claw, and I feared that my leg would be caught in the fracas. Secretly I hoped the mouse would escape. As he climbed

up my lederhosen and knocked the wienerschnitzel out of my hand. Luckily I didn't spill a drop of my beer. The mouse got trapped in my crotch and so I squeezed my kegel muscles and

attempted to make a diamond. Instead, it popped out after 10 minutes and hit the wall across the room, leaving a trail of

fecal matter and corn cobs.The notary came around this morning with a shotgun and a few pounds of fresh

fruit. I was delighted to see the nice fruit basket but was a little unnerved by the shotgun and some of the stories I was hearing about his friends. But I still needed my document

ary footage and kept the camera trained on the fruit basket. My professionalism must have impressed him since he cocked the shotgun, threw the fruitbasket in the air and

made Appellation Springtime Shotgun tossed salad. A great favorite at Shotgun Wedding Receptions. Bird shot was preferred over Slugs, slugs didn't stir the salad, just made a hole.