“No, I am your father.” said the black

“No, I am your father.” said the black helmeted one at the target when his little boy Luke absent-mindedly held the hand of a stranger. "Remember stranger danger."

"But dad, I just wanna hold a human hand. Your robot hand is so cold." Darth sliced off Luke's lefty with his lightsaber. "There, now you can't hold anyone." Child Services stormed

the catwalk. Darth coughed and they were flung against the far walls of the huge air/data shaft. Luke's hand fell planetward, got chilled and toasted, and landed next to a hungry

Ugnaught clinging to a Tibanna gas harvesting station. Back in station quarters he unpacked the Jedi hand and sniffed it. Tasty he thought. Then it grasped his throat and levitated

him 2cm off the floor before letting him go and slapping him on the butt. The Jedi Hand still looked delicious and if he could catch it he could grill it with some fresh

woontash and a splash of kriper."I'm making this more difficult than it needs to be," he thought to himself. Approaching the Jedi Hand, he stuck his own out and said, "Howdy!" Jedi

Hands are unfortunately not accustomed to the nuances of human greetings, so the Jedi Hand took the advance as an act of aggression. The Hand promptly confiscated his lightsaber &

quickly eviscerated every human in proximity. Recognizing it's mistake hours later, Jedi Hand was overcome by shame and regret. It began frequenting Lotion Bars, and was on the

verge of cracking under pressure when Jedi Thigh arrived and tried to smooth things over. Jedi Hand stood up and said, "Don't bother. It's none of your beeswax."

Jedi Hand placed himself on Jedi Thigh, but conundrums ensued when Jedi Thigh had to smack Jedi Hand with himself. This is why Jedi need to stop lopping off body parts.