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You were in your space station, surrounded

  • You were in your space station, surrounded by obedient cyborgs, when the end of this galaxy came on like a Pink Floyd song. The event horizon sparkled out at the edge and

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  • you knew her crazy diamond was somewhere out there. Still young as the day she slipped into a pair of your blue jeans kicked on your Indian & said goodbye. Now 10 billion light yrs

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  • separate the hemispheres of your brain, and all thanks to that insane genius girlfriend from MIT. "Let's break into the LHC!" she dared. "Quantum entanglement blah blah blah," she

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  • Drooled at the prospect of finally seeing the frontal cortex pyramids. They were 5,834,794 years old! These pyramids were well known for being unclimbable by tourists.

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  • This was because the cortex pyramids were well beyond any manageable human scale. Each boulder on the bottom layer was an 11/32nths of a mile solid stone cube. As a 5,834,794 year

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  • ..." I nodded off, letting the teachers droning about pyramid's fade into the background.

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  • I awoke to find myself in a palace. A servant scuttled up and prostrated himself on the floor before me. "Your father is dead," he cried, "you are now the Pharaoh! Go! Go!"

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  • I sat up in my bed in horrified disbelief. "YOU DARE COMMAND ME PEASANT?" At any other moment, the servant would have begged for his life. "Bro. Get some Priorities. You in danger!

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  • you are like, seriously about to lose your kingdom and not be the ruler you are anymore!!" "What?!! AWWW... Damn it I thought maybe I can have a little more fun." I said as I

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  • Played Connect 4 with the heads of my maids. "It's not like I'm Vlad the Impaler." "No, you are an experiment in gene splicing. Vlad and Putin DNA, you have." "Ahh." I said.

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