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The Large welch died when his beady eyes

  • The Large welch died when his beady eyes peered into the

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  • depths of your mother's face as her wrinkles twisted in an expression of madness.

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  • She started turning red slowly and slowly. Growing claws are her transformation over came her. The next thing I remembered was I was running away but she kept on chasing me.

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  • I was getting tired, and fell over. She jumped on top of me. At first I thought I was dead. She started sinking her claws deep into the back of my neck. But then she kissed me!

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  • Vampires can be passive aggressive that way. The deep bite on my neck was a join-the-club greeting (and supper) and the kiss was something more intimate. She tickled my tonsils

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  • with bubble gum, making it suddenly difficult to breathe. You'd be surprised how badly gum in your throat hurts to get lodged there.

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  • My friend Jason leaned over and punched me in the back until the gum dislodged and came flying from my mouth. I coughed and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Thanks, buddy," I said.

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  • That is when my buddy, my saviour, Jason sliced my head off with an axe. A dull axe. I do not recommend anybody dying this way. I, for one, do not like it at all. I am sorry I sign

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  • ed off this story with a tragic ending, but alas it was bad luck or karma, as I struggle to remember what recent events happened with the lack of oxygen to my brain. Welp, that

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  • was it then. I passed out from the lack of oxygen, banged my head on a table and my script scattered everywhere. Later I woke up in a hospital, saw the bill, and passed out again.

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