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Your grandfather was injured in a freak elk

  • Your grandfather was injured in a freak elk hunting accident while reading 'literature' in the outhouse. Uncle Russes shot ricocheted off the elks antlers through the moon cutout

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  • and struck ole grandaddy in his artificial hip. Just a few more inches...The bullet deflected, piercing the centerfold's head. "Russ!" he screamed, dropping the mag and pulling up

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  • a hand held gattling gun. Grandaddy cranked the handle, the barrels erupted like like solar flares, swarms of bullets shredded evil playboy bunnies. I could see his artificial hip

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  • Flutter for a few seconds as he brewed his glogg. This batch contained monkeyfruit and snakefruit. It was unique, as always. I helped label the bottles for sale.

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  • and put them all of the shelf, one by one.

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  • But facing backwards, so only their backs could be seen. But even then passers-by could recognise what they were, and soon the little shop was filled with curious customers asking

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  • "How much?" Slaves R Us' owner was thrilled---not letting customers see everything only whip up their interests. Yet for all these foot traffic, no one bought a damn thing.

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  • "We sold a small bottle of squab juice but that was only because a little kid knocked it over and it broke and the kid's dad taught him a lesson and took it out of his allowance &

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  • well...we just don't take kindly to that kind of tyrannical parenting 'round these parts." And so, for what became an historical event, also marked the first invocation of

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  • of the Stern but Fair Parenting Proclamation which survived nearly as long as knowledge of the historical event did. To the annoyance of all children both were taught annually.

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