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Dad flopped down into his old brown recliner,

  • Dad flopped down into his old brown recliner, the musty scent of trapped gas filling the air. He sighed as a far-away look came to his eyes. Then I heard it. "Daa-aaaad!" I held my

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  • nose & waved my arms around the room to clear the air. My girlfriend was coming over in about 5 minutes & there sat my dad, passed out again & flatulent. He was too heavy to move,

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  • I piled laundry on my passed out dad. Just as my girlfriend arrived, he flatulated again. "Something smells. Did you forget to take out the trash?" she asked, her eyes watering.

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  • "Yeah sorry" I scanned the giant laundry pile stopping at a sock. My Dad's toe was sticking out of it. Then the dog came up to lick it. I tried to hide this from my boyfriend by

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  • Letting him motorboat me having just started muling for Kristof.

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  • He sang his favourite song, "She's a Pistol" while working to clean up the mess. Kristof needed to watch his staining tendencies when eating my homemade spaghetti. I trained him to

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  • take care of the earmites with kerosene and a match, but he's got two left feet. Literally. In the womb, he absorbed his twin only partially. At least he can halfway sing. I had no

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  • idea how to react to these revelations. First dates didn't usually go this deep this fast. The two left feet sounded like something I wanted to experience. But the rest of it … ? I

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  • knew I had to open my mind, and fast, or I might die never having known that true love is for those who aren't perfect. Two left feet, two left eyes, two left ears, whatever. What

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  • Frankenstein's monster really wanted, though, was a surgeon who could tell left from right!

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1 Comments

  1. Woab Oct 03 2020 @ 16:31

    Tweedle, you've done it again.

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