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In the corpse laden dawn mist, yesterday's

  • In the corpse laden dawn mist, yesterday's battlefield becomes today's tragedy. The officers of the Royal Household Cavalry that were dressed in their fine uniform are now

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  • Silently eating brunch. With heavy hearts and tourmented minds. The war has definitely mistreated them. The Captain slowly rises and prepares to speak:

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  • "Come on, guys! Hakuna matata, remember?" The veterans all smiled. The Captain, despite his nervous breakdown, still knew how to spread Disney cheer. The character breakfast

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  • included slimy slugs, wormy worms, & chiteny stingbugs."Delicous, no?" The Cap.flipped back his Lionking wig & dug in. "Character actors chow like in the film, right boys?"

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  • I hadn't seen the movie so i didn't know how they ate in the film. So I wasn't prepared for the carnage that was unleashed upon slimy slugs, wormy worms & chiteny stingbugs. I went

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  • into the bathroom about halfway through the film and promptly lost my lunch to the rank toilet bowl. I clutched the rim of the toilet seat, panting for air. I'd never seen such a

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  • nauseatingly heartwarming movie. It made me laugh, it made me cry. I rinsed my mouth & left to find the nearest bar so I could erase those heartwarming images from my tortured mind

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  • Little did I know, a few other people had the same idea after watching that movie. The bar turned into a cry fest as we ordered more tissues than alcohol. Thankfully, I managed to

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  • beg an empty booze bottle from the bartender, into which we wept. Our tears were collected and used to flavor an exotic cocktail, which was named after the sad movie. The drink was

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  • surprisingly delicious. So delicious that we cried, and the bartender made more of that Coco we longed for. As we cried tears of I don't know what, we got paid and went home.

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5 Comments

  1. Gibber May 14 2018 @ 11:42

    I like how the drinking worked - my line: "erase those heartwarming images" last line: "we cried tears of I don't know what"

  2. ACN May 14 2018 @ 11:56

    "Soldiers watching the lion king get so emotional they drink and the bartender makes a huge profit off Disney Movies" Nice.

  3. SlimWhitman May 14 2018 @ 12:10

    Wasn't the Lionking an insectovore in order to keep his clientele? I mean it is Disney after all, no?

  4. Woab May 14 2018 @ 17:22

    I, for one, laughed like a hyena while reading this.

  5. ACN May 14 2018 @ 17:36

    I couldn't have made a better transition. And I just realizedI made a pun. Coco(a)

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