The aged willow tree looked out at the pond

The aged willow tree looked out at the pond she eternally stood besides, pondering the point of her existence. It was at this time she noticed the light in front of her glowing

brighter by the second. She used her natural powers to move her branches towards the light. The light slid down her trunk and she turned into what she had always wanted

: a bright red pair of wooden shoes! She clattered down the cobblestone streets in search of a little Dutch girl who would love her and would wear her with pride. But when the

harbour became full of ships carrying crates full of Crunchy Munchy Termites it was big trouble for the red wooden shoes. A dock worker accidentally dropped a

baby but lucky for him, it bounced back into the dock worker's arms. It was a rubber baby! "Hey you, how did you get that baby?" The captain! The Dock worker sprinted to the

ship and informed the captain:"My wife gave birth to it! Well, when I say wife, I mean my rubber woman." "Give it here" demanded the captain. The dock worker handed the rubber baby

to the captain, who then attempted to give the newborn a sailor's baptism. But alas, no matter how he tried, as the dockworker's child was made of rubber, it could not be submerged

the latex child was the result of excessive doublebagging, a common sailor defense while in foreign harbors. The Captain baptized the baby in sulfur, the vulcanized child soon grew

into another small Baalzebub. Thousands of these latex children became Baalzebubs over the next few months. The Captain smiled, rolling a cigar back and forth between his teeth.

Soon the congress would collapse beneath the weight of bad decisions and NSFW Instagram pics. The Captain's government coup was all but guaranteed.