Woab's photo
 

year's worth of mayonnaise if I was ever going to be able to build the bologna sandwich of my dreams. I encountered elves that could bite through car doors. I fought bulb-headed

Woab's photo
 

He took another defiant sip and stared out at the scorched garden. Out there, under leaves as brown and crumpled as paper bags, the frogs were weeping, and their tears flowed out

Woab's photo
 

-ew that Esmirelda was a divine spirit born into the body of a 400 pound 60-year-old womyn. She could heal mental maladies by smiling into a person's mind with her heart. She could

Woab's photo
 

When I came to, the light had rearranged itself into something resembling my aunt Mildred. She appeared to be reading a philosophy book, as usual, but her eyes seemed unfocused.

Woab's photo
 

How about "Come to my cooler, you little darlin'" or "Jump on the hook and laugh at George Carlin"? But no, he had been trying to write a serious poem about fishing, not a comedy

Woab's photo
 

I had sent her, which read "Dont u hav sm undies in yr fridge? LOL". Finally I just yelled across the restaurant to her: "Hey bottomless! Throw on some trou, wouldja?" She looked

Woab's photo
 

Instead, I said, "Come ride on my shoulders my short friend, and together we search for another princess to rescue." Insulted by my insinuation, he head-butted me in the torso and

Jimbeau's photo
 

First… You take your beef bouillon cube and drop it in a cup of hot water—and I mean hot…not warm. Which means ya gotta run the tap for a couple of minutes; no toilet flushing.

MingusMangus's photo
 

He shouldn’t have taken his foot off the pedal. Then, he was looking over his shoulder; looking through the rearview mirror at what had caught and failed him: his youth.

StigMartyr's photo
 

Forbidden spells as it lurched towards Kenny, other skeletons climbing out of its bones, engulfing into flames and looming towards Kenny. Weapons materialised into their skeletal