TheFishtoad's photo
 

The midget was known as 'Herset', the Guardian of Closet Doors. Herset would unleash monsters on wicked children and keep them away from the nice. Gary had been particularly bad.

TheFishtoad's photo
 

he'd lost feeling in one foot and his other foot was trying to wake it up. He pulled off his shoe and thanked his foot for waking the other up. But then before his foot could reply

smashysmashy's photo
 

to a flannel-wearing lumberjack and used the proceeds to bury my sorrow in Boston Cream Pie and a fifth of 7up. That's when the dame with legs up to here walked into my

smashysmashy's photo
 

the cylindrical apparatus that spun at 4000 RPM for six minutes before releasing the babymaking juice into the Rube Goldberg machine that took 84 steps to simply deposit the fluid

inatick's photo
 

y what the pointy end of the mouse does to a Brazillan Wandering Spider in a clinical testing environment. It would be no surprise if the researchers were nominated for an ig Nobel

smashysmashy's photo
 

the ministrations of nerds. But for their sweaty, asthmatic countenance, they'd be our Google glass-wearing lords. My son scratched the "gl" off the logo of my pair. "Google Ass,"

SunsetMage's photo
 

Of course, that wasn't Kenny's worst skeleton in the closet, that would be the actual skeleton, but no-one could prove him guilty in court, so he doesn't really keep that a secret.

SunsetMage's photo
 

As the office lamp of destiny predicted, my work as an accountant quickly became much more stressful and I tried to function as normal before quickly burning out and resorting to

dreamer's photo
 

Squeamish, she scrammed. Sam surreptitiously sneaked, stashed, swallowed several scrumptious snacks, soon sighting seven silver spoons.

dreamer's photo
 

the walkway. She felt strangely lopsided. A cute guy from work noticed and pointed out the problem. Someone or something had deflated her right leg. She suddenly had a craving for