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and its cushion spawned a slew of slippery pink tentacles. Tyrion the dwarf recoiled in disgust from what was actually just the chair mimic's innocent handshake. "Welcome to the

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So Shelly shook her tail feathers, but halfway through the mermaid dance recital she asked, "Do fish have feathers?" Unfortunately, mermaids are also ditzy valley girls, so nobody

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a really sexy disembodied nose. Like, rationally, I knew that. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyways, back to the matter at hand: traveling back in time & assassinating

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n unwavering, indestructible, sneeze-resistant nose thread; one that made Karl Malden’s nose blush; one that made Jimmy Durante’s nose look like a banana-shaped, crowned mushroom.

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could satisfy their taste for her children's meat and continue to rape the Earth in order to keep McDonald's in business. Betsy could feel the rage deep in her udder. She decided

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But "Fear not," proclaimed Emperor SBF IV, "for through my God-like status, I shall restore your worlds!" The others looked at him hopefully as he finished his Chicken McNuggets.

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ictim or should I say client, still within the inner system -- a surprise considering the Ascension I paid for, but Venusians and Martians are cool and have their own traditions --

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from miles around to mock him, nearly to the point of suicide. "I Will Survive" meant nothing to Ricky. The Rainbow Heathen Circle didn't help with their othering and controlling t

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. Their handiwork skills were quite impressive, even if they did have to work on grammar a bit. Those brats are going places some day, but for now, they are staying away from my

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I met Nihilistic Neddy while we were both performing community service for Hazzard County. I was the roll guy and he was backhoe. He was working off a conviction of Thought Crimes.