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I knew that I was not surrounded by fans of pastrami but I had to try. "How about a Pastrami Rueben sandwich?" The old white lady understood even less. She was forgetting herself.

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The lunchroom was full of pissants that hated me. They objected to my warming my lunch, usually sardines, in the microwave oven. The found fault with the fact that i urinated where

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young woodpeckers were dressed just like Eggman &, along with him, were all sitting along 3 sides of the kitchen table. I was standing in the 4th. They were all looking at me & I d

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"Hon, that's not a Government Issue candy bar, it's a Gastro-Intestinal," said Zing, Evil Emperor Ting's spouse. Ting dropped the candy bar into a nearby swimming pool, where it

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-der his eyelids. It was empty. His toaster-headed mother turned toward him, an under-iced Danish-Go-Round scalding in her cranium. "Let it go, Mom! Before you burn the place down!

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She said she had seen many an insect lose their marbles but this boy was her first human to do so and he lost those before he and she ever crossed paths. The venom did have the dra

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the table. "No, see- this is what you do," and she cracked the turtle shells and the naked turtles tumbled out into the now empty soup bowls. Hodar and Jodar shuddered audibly.

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like a stillborn tomorrow only sadder because we didn't ask for it and we didn't see the promise. Worlds where we spilled our blood and libations in equal measure. Now gone, forgot

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that I have more jewels in my crown than I do in my codpiece. Send for my magician. This must be seen to at once." Maudlin the magician appeared in a puff of putrid smoke. "So, it

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"Sure it's safe, Shroombate," the Neptunians reassured him, "and if you get too hot you can rest on this bed of wild rice." The rice looked nice and fluffy, and Shroombate was