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shenanigans just yet. He'd only been on parole for two hours. Said he'd had "good behavior" or some shit like that. He laughed at how wrong those clowns were, he'd make them regret

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and see things no Pseudopod has ever seen before." Burles took a bow and the audience began lining up to purchase their new Occular Enhancements. "Suck it, Steve Jobs," Burles said

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the thirst of an America that had been ravaged by war. With all water-sources contaminated by the nuclear fallout, it was on me to provide a sustainable alternative. But something

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. Manatee then realized, "What kind of rednecks are so broken up over the theft of an Airstream? The only good person to ever own one was John Belushi and he just did coke in it."

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But also sort of like that one episode of Quantum Leap where the guy goes back to the sixties and inhabits the body of a downie. Good stuff. But, I digressed, and reached into my

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had finally had enough of my waffle days and pancake nights. She packed my bags, preflight. She knew she could never satisfy a man who fiened on maple syrup like I did. I was a rea

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my attorney followed suit. "You bastards," I muttered under my breath. I knew my daughter was still at home, probably asleep in a pile of fruit snack wrappers under the cryptogram

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just can't sit through one more goddamned episode of "Teen Titans: Go!". The show is literally so awful that it makes me not want to live in this solar system anymore. Please help

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off of his desk. Such debauchery soon attracted the attention of Farris F. Freemont, acting president of the United States of America. "David, my boy," the old snake hissed. "You

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a goddamned hermaphrodite. Great. It's like I was stuck in that goddamned song by the Kinks, "Lola". Oh well, I'd read on an imageboard that it wasn't gay unless balls touched, so