The Percussionist kept cold beer in his kettledrums.

The Percussionist kept cold beer in his kettledrums. A 3rd row violinist slept her way to first violin. When he caught himself saying "good enough for the Nutcracker" he threw his

back out from laughing at his own joke. He beat on the kettledrums, but could not stoop low enough to reach his cold beer. The "easy" violinist had pain pills, but the concert was

a successful trial for the Rock Orchestra Video Game. Now, you could gather eighty of your friends and play "Beethoven's 5th" or "Flight of the Bumblebees."

Almost overnight the band kids became popular at school! They'd convene right outside the cafeteria during lunch period, creating the most amazing music ever heard. What

happened next nobody expected. The band kids influenced a revolution. Instead of gossip magazines and the Oscars society became fixated with New Scientist Magazine and the Nobel

Peace Prize, which would have gone to Charlie Sheen this year except that I swooped in and stole it, floating away in my hot-air banana. Let's see them top THAT publicity stunt!

Charlie Sheen was livid! I manoeuvred my aero-banana around the Leaning Tower of Pisa only to see C. Sheen approaching in a purple triplane! I had to throw the Peace Prize trophy

At him to wake him out of his mushroom induced trance. He was a lifetime actor, this was his front. His fans didn't know who he was, on purpose. The purple triplane crashed on the

seventeenth of April. The disguised actor on board did not notice the crash, being as high as he was on psilocybin, and only months later did he realize that he was actually

in hospital, being treated after the crash. He was in casts and had bandages all around his face. "Mmf mmf mmf?" He asked. A nurse near to him said "sure" and lit a joint for him.