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"Do you love me like, oh, the mighty ocean

  • "Do you love me like, oh, the mighty ocean crashing on the shore or something?" "Yah, I guess so." The romance was finished! Scott Tuba knew in his bones it was a bestseller-to-be

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  • if only he could bear to change the names of Captain Picard and crew. Scott's friends read his romance and said it was refreshingly insincere and unconvincing, especially the part

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  • where he had to run off and fight the Gromulanian Star-Humpers for three years without so much as admitting that he'd even been away. Scott and the rest of Picard's crew decided

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  • that they weren't being compensated adequately by Star Fleet. "Admiral Poobah," Picard began, "the Gromulanian Star-Humpers are ruthless. If we engage, I demand that we receive

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  • Some compensation for the time spent on the hunt for the Red Menace himself. He is the puppet-master of Galaxy M23. This guy is the mastermind behind the plot to defenestrate

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  • Karl the window washer, who was only in it for the money. Jerry Mahone and Kukla, who were the puppet-master's master puppets, planned to distract Karl with a cute little song and

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  • trance but the dervishes didn't clear Customs. Instead Jerry Mahone & Kukla threw an impromptu rendition of Brian's Song from stray Punch & Judy parts to distract the police. Ollie

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  • Ended up possessed by the spirit of Punch, who himself hoarded the spirit of an eyeless voodoo priest. Ollie started chasing the cops with a wooden plank. Jerry and kukla ran quick

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  • But Slappy headed him off with a band saw, slicing deep into Kukla's head and tearing out bits on the rebound. Chuck (not Chuckie) merely watched on in disapproval, shaking his

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  • head. What would Ollie and Fran do without Kukla? Kukla was replaced with Knucklehead Smiff, who was available. But they argued over billing and the act never got off the ground.

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2 Comments

  1. Woab Feb 06 2021 @ 11:21

    Man, it's like a puppet show directed by Sam Peckinpah.

  2. Zetawilk Feb 06 2021 @ 18:29

    I wonder where Bob is.

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