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I thought it was pretty cool just to be in

  • I thought it was pretty cool just to be in the twilight but I just found out that we're also in the Twilight Zone. That gives this everlasting twilight a whole different backstory.

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  • And that story is, Rod Serling’s the original "wiki leaker". US astronauts really did encounter a giant hillbilly lady in a rundown shack. Gremlins regularly tore up airplane wings

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  • , but only on flights where William Shatner was a passenger. Which means... DUN DUN DUN!!! Captain Kirk was a RUSSIAN SPY! It all makes sense now! Imma go inform the special

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  • agent in charge of your ass. Everybody knows that Bill Shatner is an agent of the Esperanto Intelligence Service. They recruited him straight off the set of Incubus. Some whisper.

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  • "Mi nomigas Bill," you'll hear in the dead of night. "Mi estas spaca capitano; al senfineco kaj preter." When you hear those words, and only then, will you be free to go. Capiche?'

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  • "I don't understand a word you're saying, Bill," I replied, staring hard at a pimple on his neck. Bill's face turned red with rage and the pimple exploded. "Call me Clearasil," I

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  • grinned from ear to ear. Bill had a speech impediment, and I loved egging him on for getting simple words incorrect. "I'll havme 2 eggms with cheems." Bill slurred.

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  • I felt kind of bad for being a bully though, so I decided to use my powers to end his speech impediment. Something went wrong and now he could speak normal, but I couldn't.

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  • All of my words came out garbled, like I was speaking in reverse. They turned to watch as I struggled to articulate my thoughts. My eyes stung with tears, theirs shone with malice.

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  • But luckily I lived in Noel Edmonds Torture House and there was a party going on. I set them up on the Blobby rack and unleashed Blobby gibberish as I tortured them til they died.

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