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After attempting several time-tested solutions,

  • After attempting several time-tested solutions, the lion tamer decided he better take drastic action to release the

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  • pressure. His apparatus failed. Again. Oil now spewed higher into the air. The sea lion barked in despair.

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  • Those bastards at BP had finally done it. After years of skirting safety regulations and turning a blind eye to warnings

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  • they finally got their shit together. And not a moment too soon. If they hadn't the Gulf of Mexico might look like

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  • the mud mask my old lady smears on her wrinkled face each night. Certainly a fright beyond

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  • even the imagination of Steven King, but I was determined to Man-Up. I gathered up all my courage and went for it.

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  • I peed as hard and as fast as I could. And...I liked it. The stream was strong and yellow, smelled like acid and rain.

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  • The ground was wet and mossy and the misty breeze sent tingles all down my arms and legs. Who would have thought that

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  • the feel of something so wet and slimy could feel so damned good?? I let the sensations wash over me as they pulled

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  • me in all directions. I was drowning. I knew it. I can't breathe. I woke up to find my cat, Simba, sleeping on my face. It was only a dream.

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