She saw her dad cup the woman's breast. Crap,

She saw her dad cup the woman's breast. Crap, that ain't mom, she thought. But she sure looked like mom. Except, the hair, it was made of snakes and her skin was

scaly and chafing. In spots, it had become raw and bleeding. Where it bled, tiny scorpions began to spawn into giant killers, snapping and stinging everyone at her graduation.

"I told you not to invite your mother; she always ruins everything," a voice was heard above the throng. "We can't take her any place nice." It all started to come clear now as

Naomi Judd pulled aside the curtain hiding her, stunning Reba McIntyre as she was finishing her insult of Naomi to Wynona Judd. Naomi

ached to sluff off her Juddness, to exfoliate right then & there & emerge in a blaze of white-hot light that would vanquish Reba, disintegrate Wynona, embalm

Beatrice (Arthur) and shrivel up Cher. While they weren't Judd's per se; they may as well have been. The drugs were starting to take affect and casual group sex seemed imminent.

A smile from across the room expressed comfort. Or was it anxiety. Or even madness? Calm down! the lips of the smile seperate to show bright white theeth and a deep red tong. drugs

Drugs could be the only reason that I was hallucinating tongs inside someone`s mouth. Deep red tongs at that! The question now was who slipped the LSD into my Gatorade?

I popped a Tums and the antacid sobered me up. I flattened out the plane as was soon flying lucid in the sky with diamonds from the heist, at 30,000 feet. Getaway back on track!

But - disaster! The weight of the puns threw the aircraft into a sharp dive. As the sea raced up to greet them, a walrus came into view on yellow sub. "Hello..goodbye" it grinned.