Do you ever think of the very real possibility

Do you ever think of the very real possibility that not all of your friends will die of old age? Because I do. Every single day. Oi, why does being a reaper have to be so difficult

It wasn't exactly a fun job, either. Nobody was ever happy to see me. It wasn't like it was my fault. I wasn't the one that was killing them. I was simply guiding them into the

killing fields. It wasn't exactly boring, either. Sometimes it's like being a tour guide, and other days it's like a movie theater usher.Except I don't have to sweep up afterwards.

All I have to do is tell people where to go. It's up to me to tell them where the best hiding place is, or the best vantage point to see the enemy approaching. Not a boring job

but hardly taxing. I needed a challenge, something I could sink my teeth into. I considered running for president but if Drumpf could win at it it not provide the challenge he was

claiming it had been. No, the Presidency was too humble a target. I had a loftier goal: to become the Queen of Mars. But first, I'd need a rocket ship. I called up my pal Elon Musk

who regaled me with stories about his current projects for 3 hours before I found an opening to ask him to borrow one of his Space X rockets. He laughed and said, "Take two!"

I just about managed to catch the stainless steel keys he threw my way, which hung on a poorly crafted wire ring. On one was soldered "AWESOME ROKET 1", and the other, "ROCET 2"

Clearly this rocket scientist was none too keen on spelling, but I hadn't a moment to lose. I unlocked the rocket ship's door and turned the ignition key. Off we lurched, into