Necronomicon, book of the dead, waited patiently

Necronomicon, book of the dead, waited patiently among the remainders next to a Dan Brown novel and an 'Owners Guide to Fish Tanks.'

Sure enough, Fred's hand reached the wrong book when his fish looked blah.Instead of it advising a filter clean.."..all I gotta do is chant 'Khandar dematos khandar'!" he marveled.

The world then began to combust. Freds vision soon began to clear to reveal a desert. A lonely one. Nothing but sand and silence for the next hundred miles, but

for the presence of a strange little diner with a turquoise and black tiled floor. Nobody knew how it stayed open, as few ever ventured to that side of the desert, but Fred was

a real caveman and he did what cavemen did. He took advantage. For instance, he had been advised by a shaman that turquoise & black tiled flooring attracted wealth. Advantage for h

im, he thought as he spread the grout across the newly tiled floor. He'd gone for a classic black matte tile, interspersed with pops of turquoise to create a focal point. Stunning.

He was admiring his handiwork when the doorbell rang and he unfolded himself from his crouched position, grouting tools in hand. Who is it? he shouted. He didn't recognize them.

"Are you the plumber? Have you come to fix the sink?" they asked him. "No, I'm the grouter,come to retile the bath." "Who is it?" Asked deaf Aunt May. "It's the grouter, he's come

to grout the tiles". "Tell him we don't need any sprouts" Aunt May shouted indignantly - just that little bit too loud. "I'm sorry mate." they smiled at the workman and exchanged

knowing looks. Of course Aunt May needed sprouts, as everyone was well-aware, including Aunt May. But they also knew how she could be, so they said nothing more & brought sprouts.