He waited for his friends at their usual table. As much as he would have wanted to see them, he dreaded their arrival. He owed most of them money. Jeff said they were cool after he slept with Jeff's wife and sister. It didn't feel like they were cool to him. Meat and Peewee might drop by also. Jeff was reduced to tears at the thought! Like he was literally reduced to tears. As in his entire body has transformed into eye ball secretions just by thinking of something! The doctors did all they could to fix him but with a body composed entirely of the tears he'd been reduced to, it was difficult for the medical teams to contain his emotions. Tearfully, they popped him in some test tubes, and stored him away in a freezer to await the development of better science. For the next several decades, they toiled and tested, to no avail. But everything changed when Agnus accidentally bumped over a test tube of fibriullum into a pot of coffee, creating the perfect combination that we were sure would cure him. So we thawed him out and gave him the cure. The man woke up, and felt where the lump was originally. "Huh, what? I can breathe... it's like my lungs aren't wheezing!" But then, Agnes wheeled out a little man in a wheelchair and threw him out of a window and farted in out of the door. The fart acted as a propeller and he smashed through the window and strangled me in the wheels of his chair. My last words were "I deserved this." He chuckled in agreement. The end



1 Woab's photo

Superb ending, Stig!

2 StigMartyr's photo

Haha, thanks Woab! This story goes everywhere in the best possible way.

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