As the night before Finals dragged on like a bleeding slab of roadkill, started to look more and more appealing. "This is free-college-essays, how may take your order? Uh-huh... Do you to supersize your Post-Modern Interpretation of Chekov with a side of Darwinian Analysis of Invertebrates?" "Huh, how'd you know I'm minoring in population biology?" I asked perplexed. "Marv, it's me. I'm supplementing my income by moonlighting at "Free college essays. We've got a specia l this week on essays analyzing Great Expectations' macrobiological impact on 19th century Devonshire. I can cut you a deal, Marv. You shouldn't pass this up, man." "I don't know jack about literature," Marv sighed. He looked at the heavy tome in front of him and steeled his resolve. "Right. Okay. I'm in. What is it that you want me to do?" His companion reminded him that no matter how much Marv read, none of those fancy authors said anything about the prohibition on re-freezing sea bass. Companions were like that and Marv could do without that. Companionship is highly overrated, Marv thought as he went about defrosting his illegally re-frozen sea bass. He added the cookbooks to the fire. Were the fi res hot enough? Marv cursed the fact that he didn't advance further than "Webelo" status in the Boy Scouts. It was one of Marv's most painful memories. They'd kicked him out for punching the scout master in the nether regions. Marv claimed that it had been a mistake, that the taffy pull had been a bit too much, but the other Webelos knew it wasn't. They had been putting up with the scoutmaster for weeks now, and it was time to fight back! This final attack would end all their sorrows! That's when their parents showed up...



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So remember kids, don’t neglect your studies!

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