I put on my mask. I took a deep breath. I threw my body into the door and it flew open. With all my courage, I stepped onto an albino midget. He was mad; the ensuing round-house kicked to my jejunum made me vomit. My vomit landed on Mike Tyson, and he looked pissed. So I ran as fast as I could, but tripped suddenly on what must have been a body. There was no other explanation for the dull thud. I went ass over teakettle, falling through space like a drunken ninja in a white room. I came to rest against a pair of smelly flip-flops attached to some of the most horrid , mangled toes and feet. It wasn't the blow, it was the recovery that made me cringe. You could see the lack of confidence in his eyes. There was an overwhelming sense of embarrassment as we watched the porn starring his parents. The age old question of whether you would rather watch porn WITH your parents or STARRING them was enough to drive anyone batty! I wasn't sure if I wanted to gouge my eyes out or do the hula. God, what would become of the world now? I guess we may never know.



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