"Don't worry, Donald. If this isn't the heartland, I don't know what is." Mike Pence said grace before he dug into his open-face turkey sandwich at Melba's Diner off I-70 in Kansas "Are you sure Mike?" Donald scoffed, "There doesn't seem to be a whole lot around here besides corn and slackjawed farmers." Donald looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody was listening. Little did he know that the ears of corn had heard every scornful word that Donald had uttered about them and the noble folk who tended them. And this angered them. The corn used their *heh* corn powers - CUT!! Come on Earnest! You Need to take this seriously! We said the that this was gonna be released soon and we cant afford to not release it on the date we previously agreed on. There are people waiting for this, goddamnit! You see Corey over there? He put his entire life's savings into this, and you're just acting like it means nothing! Like he means nothing! Like space and time and the lifestream doesn't mean a damn thing! Nihilistic Neddy was in a bit of a mood. So he constructed a chicken wrestling ring and charged a tenner entry. "LADIES AND GENTLE-MEN! THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EE-VA-NING! IN THE BLUE CORNER WEIGHING 5 POUNDS & WITH A 2 FOOT WINGSPAN..THE JERSEY GIANT! IN THE RED CORNER LAYING..AN EGG? DANNY DEVITO WEARING NOTHING BUT A TIGHT PAIR OF OVERALLS?" The man stared blankly at the horrific image before him, his eyes becoming dry form not blinking. He had never seen anyt hing until this. This was the first thing he'd ever really really seen. & he sees this. The man had no frame of reference to deny what he was seeing with this sight he was seeing.

 

Comments

1 ToastMech's photo

I don’t really like how StigMartyr twisted it. Don’t get me wrong, I like a story going off the rails, but it just feels too forced, even on this website

2 StigMartyr's photo

Fair enough. I reckon this story would’ve probably died if it’d been left with the line before, mind.

3 ToastMech's photo

No no, it was more rather chicken wrestling ring thing. I like the first bit of it though, because I’ll admit in the middle it was a bit stale

4 StigMartyr's photo

I look a good bounce, myself.

5 ToastMech's photo

What? I don’t quite understand that

6 BlastedHeath's photo

@Toast, please keep in mind that Stig could only see the fold before at time of writing.

And sometimes things do go off the rails in brainstem and worse directions, in “real life” as well as FS.

7 ToastMech's photo

I understand that, I just didnt quite understand the chicken wrestling ring. It still felt forced. But, eh, every story like this is gonna feel a bit forced.

8 Woab's photo

I loved Stig’s fold, and want to write more about Nihilistic Neddy!

10 ToastMech's photo

nice, after woab gets her hands at it, ill join on it. I did like Neddy, I guess i just didnt understand the chicken wrestling turn

11 ToastMech's photo

Also, thinking about it, Nihilistic Teddy and Joe Cartoon might do well together

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