"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears to possess all the physical attributes generally prized by the male of this species. Right. OK. Well, do you want me to get back to measuring the lemurs? Because, I do that. I forgot my ruler but I borrowed Jerry's from down in accounting so, I could get right on that and all I needed was for the lemurs to show some small amount of cooperation. But they flung themselves off the edge of my desk every time I got near. I needed some way to tie them together so that I could make a rope out of them & escape out of my office window. I carefully placed a trail of pineapple across my desk for the lemurs to find while I hid under what I thought was a magnificent rug but was actually the processed hide of a human centipede. "Gack!" I cried in alarm. "I didn't know these things were real." The I recognized The handiwork of Mabus Cibffghfti the famous rug designer. He thought of this innovative design by himself or was his son involved? Poor Mabus had bern dead for three years so no menclature of Mabus's rug designs were no longer necessary. His son finally saw his chance to expand the business. Rugs and Nachos? Rugs and joke gifts? Rugs and Peep Show? Rugs an potatoes! That was it! He started up and order, and planned a special packaging for the rugs and the soon-to-be-famous vegetable. He would be the most successfu in the family, he k -new it. He had himself crowned king of all root vegetables. As he stood on his balcony listening to them root for him, he felt a stab in his great potato head. "I'm forked!" he cried, and died on the spot. On his tombstone it reads: "Here lies Mr. Potato Head. He led the kingdom for an instant, but he fed the kingdom for a week."

 

Comments

1 Futique's photo

I was going to say put a fork in it but it seems you already did. Carry on.

2 Futique's photo

Carry on my wayward spud.

3 lucielucie's photo

I wrote my fold on the day I joined FoldingStory four years ago… when I was a mere slip of a girl who didn’t even know about The Kraken or cephalopod sex in general.

4 PurpleProf's photo

awww, LL…. (hugs!)

5 Woab's photo

Lucie, your line about lemurs flinging themselves off the edge of your desk cracked me up! And to think you were a virginal folder at the time of writing.

6 lucielucie's photo

(((Hugzzzz))) PP!

Thanks for the compliment Woab! Imaginary animal abuse came naturally to me :)

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