I want to tell you about you. First off, there you are. You don't know how many didn't make it this far. All of that history to get you to this moment. It suddenly hits you. Like a wrecking ball with no numb shots or pain killers afterwards. You just have to keep going with the pain that you'll be the last you before you make the next one sometime. Thats what it means to be faeces. You just have to hope that when you are born, you will be celebrated, and not rejected with painful tears. You hope that this dark chasm soon open s up and lets you out, and the Wormhole in your Kundalini connection closes, and is replaced with the tubes, and all good things return to your faith, of Starseed abilities. What that means is beyond me, but it's what my fortune cookie fortune said.I made it my life's goal to discover my Starseed abilities. For the longest time no wormholes materialized but one morning my cat dropped a yellow light bulb on my chest. Not sure how to interpret that. The fortune cookie, my latent Starseed potential, the lookahead moments, my day job at Spud-u-Like all pointed to one inevitable cosmic conclusion. I screwed the lightbulb into my ear and made contact with Mthulu, sister-in-law and part-time bookeeper to Cthulu, Lord of the Open Flies. While I copped a peek at my zipper, Cthulu yanked the lightbulb out my ear, unaware of its intimate ties with eardrum.Cthulu proudly used his new "conga" to play His full moon song titled "Alpha". Cthulhu was a lyrical genius and I was his collaborator. We set up a invented machine to get rid of my tinnitis and it worked so well it was it was adopted by Angelina Jolie. "Yesss," hissed Jolie quietly at she sat in her study in front of the fireplace, a rocks glass of bourbon in her hand. Now my set is complete.

 

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