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The worst part of it all is that my husband

  • The worst part of it all is that my husband now looks at me with a tinge of disappointment in the back of his glance - mixed with anxiety about the future. He blames himself, but

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  • I know that if I'd been half the man he is, I would have succeeded. Before it can get too deep, I blame "Lie To Me" and start wondering how paranoid I must be to look for micro

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  • phone near the flower vase. Suddenly I heard a ring, but it was in my ears, and not from the telephone. A gnat had just flown into my ear BUZZING!!!! I tumbled

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  • the laundry in the dryer to freshen it up and put off having to fold. I could feel the gnat struggling in pools of wax in my ear canal. If only Victoria was here because then

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  • Victoria could coo some incantation into my tortured ear & lure out that unfortunate waxed gnat that had wandered in there. I had averted fluffing & folding, but my groin

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  • had needed serious fluffing. To complete this project required nothing less than a

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  • perfect lemon-meringue pie. The chefs raided the hen-house and whipped up the most enormous pie imaginable. Project pie was soon

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  • destroyed by alein spacecarft. apartenly, on mars, the word pie means &@#$. so, they took offence and began abducting chefs and torturing them. so, in short, project pie was a dud.

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  • Which was a damn shame. I love pie. Living in a world without chefs wasn't going to be easy but we still had the martian problem to deal with. We weren't just going to stand by

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  • and allow the ETs to take over our bakeries. Luckily, the aliens had one crucial weakness.

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