Sometimes I think about it late at night.

Sometimes I think about it late at night. If I could, would I go back and do something different so I could be with her, forsaking this future of wife...family. I don't like the

regrets of middle age, this hunting in hindsight for meaning. A man must advance in wisdom, not just in years. And so I shall press forward, find my Neptunian consort, perhaps

show her the map to Del Taco on the spidery veins of my scrotum sack. I tattooed all kinds of directions there. Atlantis was near my taint, but no one wanted to look

up the inch-to-mile ratio on that one. So, we just relied upon GPS to get us the hell out of there and on to a more pleasant locale. Just then, the karate teacher

was in mid "wax-on; wax-off" mode when

I realized that this remake of "The Karate Kid" was just wrong in every way imaginable. Damn that Will Smith and his nepotism! His son is just another spoiled Hollywood brat who

might take my Walk of Fame star. I am Robbie RIst. I played Oliver on Brady Bunch. 6 episodes. But the Walk is out of space so they are quietly removing "lesser" stars to make room

for the stage. Animal Planet has started a new reality show and the lesser known stars are being booted for the classical dance steps of FiFi The Wonder Rottweiler.

Now a guy from Animal Planet was pitching "Meerkats, the Musical". "There's not enough fuckin' Scotch," he thought. He had not spent all those years slaving at

The Casba behind the Bar listening to whiny Yuppies complain about too much chlorine in their Jacuzzu to end up like this. He looked at the melting ball and ice and thought... fuck