One day I woke up in a whole new world. In this new world cars could fly or drive themselves, flappy bird became the most popular game ever played, and everyone lived in a mansion. I used a jet pack instead of my longboard and nobody knew what a VCR player was. I was clueless. It was as I was a character from back to the future except this was real life. I noticed that the music that was being played on loud speakers all over the city were songs from the Beatles. And, everyone was wearing the same T-shirt with the words 'The Beatles are all dead thank god!'. I thought this was a bit cruel but I was a little bit sick and tired of the dreary repetitive beatniks still stuck in last century. I decided I was dead wrong about the Beatles, however, once I really stopped to listen to the entire White album...afterwhich I became a 21st century beatnik. Ah, the ignorance of youth! The song "Revolution 9" was my favourite and I play it to annoy friends I want to leave my apartment. It works every time! Thank goddess for YouTube Red. Now I can leave "Revolution #9" on constant replay and winnow down my friends even more. At this rate I expect singularity any minute. #9, #9 #9 #9 # 9, #9, #9. The constant repetition isn’t making everyone leave, and it’s annoying me. So I put the turntable in reverse: “Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man.” Shrieking, the entire town emptied in a matter of minutes. Having recently been invaded by horny zombies, they were having no more of that. Hoards of white boys flooded into the abandoned town to take selfies in the mirror of girls' bedrooms, so they could convince their mates that they'd had sex. Unfortunately, some zombies still lurked in the dark corners of town.

 

Comments

1 Woab's photo

Ooooh. The future looks dim.

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