Her room mate hates the word "vagina," which

Her room mate hates the word "vagina," which makes how-was-your-day conversations awkward as she works as a physician's assistant for a gynecologist. So euphamisms are a way of

redirecting the conversation through a filter that would make unwashed or yeasty penis garages more agreeable. She buried her face in her hands and began to lap up her

yogurt of perspiration and panic. The sour salt of it always calmed her jack-hammer pulse. No wonder Simone, the garage enforcement matron, had recently forbidden

hippies from entering her personal space. Once she was in a powder puff football game and a Hippie defensive lineman tackled her. It was too much for her to handle

what with the smell of patchouli everywhere. Powder puff was not for her. She liked to place pylons and taped arrows on her driveway, welcoming any new driver to

get weighed. Truth be told there weren'ta lot of takers because -- little known fact -- truckers tend to be a little sensitive about their waistlines. It didn't help that she

walked around with a long stick, ready to poke any slightly paunchy truckers in the belly, screaming at them that "EATING IS CHEATING!". Truckers do not respond well to that.

Their response is much more aggressive. How would you feel if they were basically calling you FAT? The truckers grabbed the stick and snapped it like a toothpick.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL US FAT." The truckers yelled. Oh dear. This is bad, I thought to my self. I began to run but one of them grabbed my leg and

pulled off my sock and shoe and began to tickle my feet. Unfortunately I have very ticklish feet. I tried to push against the trucker but I just moved his folds of fat so I decided