Exhausting the possibilities of modern pedagogy, teachers began to resort to "the old ways": Druidic magic, totems, shamanism and vision quests. Surprisingly, the latest data show -ed routine beatings to be excitingly successful in keeping pupils silent and terrified. And the International Pedagogical Society was catching on. A resistance movement began At the University of Chanplogono. Professor Ziti was teaching alchemy when he suddenly thought up and self published his theory of maniacal self disciplinary techniques. They were poorly received and criticized by his academic peers for lacking a proper metaphysical schema of the self which was being "self"-disciplined. In his sorrow, Ziti took to drink. Drink told Ziti to take it back and that threw Ziti to Rock Bottom. He got work at the local saloon, The Pornorama, mopping up piss & jizz and flouncing Fanny, the owner. It was ho on ho action, and since sex sells, everything just became smuttier until nothing was worth doing any longer. It was an apocalypse of culture, of taste. Ziti's job at The Pornorama became outsourced to the girl scouts, who were now allowed to sell porn door-to-door. This left Ziti not only out of work, but also feeling like the human race was no better than the lizard people who secretly enslaved them. This left Ziti no other choice but to contact The Man err- The Lizard to "deal with" the girl scouts. 6-6-6-9-4-2-0, Ziti waited patie -ntly. Then Ziti waited impatiently. Then Ziti didn't wait anymore and went about his business. It was clear the Big Lizard was not going to acknowledge Ziti's girl scout concerns. Ziti hid a week later when the girl scouts invaded the small island nation, overthrew, decapitated, stuffed & mounted the Big Lizard as a warning to all who do not heed warnings.



1 jayursus's photo

In this age of COVID, I wish I could send kids on a vision quest, instead of gently prodding them to put away their device and actually do the %*^*(&^ work I assign.  Pretty soon I’m gonna start telling them to get off my lawn and start every sentence with “Back in my day…” just to see if they’ll do the work to shut me up.

2 Woab's photo

That, and a good, old fashioned Druid spell ought to do the trick.

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