Today, I will glue a price tag on an 800

Today, I will glue a price tag on an 800 pound barbell, carry it to the supermarket, lay it down on the far end of a cash register's conveyer belt. People will notice something is

different, get angry, & go elsewhere to shop! Ah, just my luck. Only one register was open when I came by later that day. No one noticed the lonely 800lb barbell on lane 5's convey

er because everyone was reading the National Enquirer. It turns out that Hillary blacked out and that she needs to go to rehab before she runs for office.

This turns out to be why she failed to show up in some key states during her campaign, and why we now have a human Cheese Puff for our leader. The orange stain is on our hands.

"Do we still have Agent Orange? If we do, I want to see him or her in my office in 23 minutes", said the Cheese Puff human. The Agent Orange program had died with Agent Orange but

the Cheese Puff human was determined to get to the bottom of this labyrinthine mystery. Even if he died in the process, word would eventually get out. And then everything would be

cheesy. As the Cheese Puff human investigated the seemingly unfathomable mystery, he began to cough up blood. He doubted he had time left to die _due to the investigation_ so that

he applied for an execution stay with the Grim Reaper. The Cheese Puff human then doubled his effort at solving the mystery. "But first I'll need a brain. I'm off to see the wizard

In the snack closet. He received one, under certain circumstances. No more junk food in front of the tellie, even the pfeffernusse. That was not so hard after all. Whew!

2 hours later, he was in withdrawals. Shaking, sweating, cursing the day Santa had first filled his stocking with sweets. Santa is Satan, he suddenly realized. Sugar was the devil!