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Senator Jones didn't really care about the

  • Senator Jones didn't really care about the issues. Just gathering enough votes. But an angel shot him and he went mad with love at a fundraiser full of well-groomed sociopaths be

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  • ing sociopaths, just as sociopaths tend to be. Senator Jones was elated. Never before had he found such a flock of kindred spirits! The sociopaths continued being just as they

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  • were, well-bred. They smirked at each other and talked about where they summered. Rich people always excited Senator Jones because he could always count on a totally loaded

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  • Revolver to protect him. Or so he thought! Mr. Soros was shorting the market when King Olaf X was assassinated by one of his minions some three years afterwards.

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  • "I don't know how I ended up in a Frozen fanfic," said David Soros to himself, "But I'll be damned if I ain't running this place inside of two years!" Investing in snowflakes, he

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  • absently kicked aside a few snowmen, screeching in alarm when one of them began to move, constricting his leg in a hug of death before he beat it over the head with a stalagmite.

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  • "That'll teach them- stupid leg-humping snowmen, anyway!" he muttered as he smashed the frozen creature into a puddle. Suddenly the darkness of the cave was pierced by a glow

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  • as the freezer's light came on as somebody opened the door to the freezer and froze upon seeing the carnage we had inflicted. I looked around, the mountain was a half gallon of cho

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  • colate mousse. I knew it shouldn’t have been put in the freezer in the first place. Chefs gathered round the open freezer door and gasped at the ruined chocolate mousse. “Who is re

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  • gretting their decision right now?" I sighed. I looked at the chefs' faces, searching for guilt. Ah well, it was no good now anyway. I took the mousse out and began devouring it.

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