Come over here and peek through this electron microscope. You see that speck on the left antenna of that mite? Increase the magnitude. Now, look closer. What did I tell you. Dr. Finkle paled & sat back from the microscope. "Jesus," he whispered. I didn't think it looked much like Jesus. I leaned in and refocused. It was multiplying rapidly. But it was definitely the Jewish Carpenter. I looked back at Dr. Finkle and he said, "What's your relationship with Jesus." I chewed on that and then said, "Is it Wednesday?" He frowned at me and stuck the giveaway bible back into his pocket. Whew, saved! I continued to chew, intentionally loosing drool from my cheek pouches whenever he looked up.again. After a while with him still mooning around waiting for a chance to Witness to me and being tired, I farted loudly but told him I had soiled myself. "Could you please change my dia phragm?" Naturally he bought it and avoided me. Sometimes you just have to go out of your way to repel people, like by pretending to be a cannon operator on the Lusitania around May 7, 1915, or thereabouts. But who cares what he bought. I don't. Unless he bought it for me. Hmmm.... maybe he intends to surprise me? In that case, I must rehearse my sincere surprise and gratitude. Not that I'm overly impressed being gifted WWI artifacts, but I'm polishing this rough diamond into the perfect husband. As he handed me my present ation sword, I couldn’t help but chuckle. “What’s funny about the sword?” my hubby wondered. “Gen. Pershing himself presented it to an officer!” “Woooo!” I went, and hubby fumed. I knew that sometimes a sword is just a sword but my husband's preoccupation for Pershing's sword got me to thinking. The next morning I ordered a broadsword off eBay.

 

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