Aiden was in the fetal position on my couch. "The Falcons win whenever I sit like this," he said. No fair - I wanted superpowers too. I found some dusty texts at the library about superheroes before, but they were just old comics. "This isn't fair, the Bills are clearly the better team! You using your powers for some stupid game is a waste." I gave him a wedgy that would have created a skid mark that looked like Crunch bar slammed into boiled fat. See, if I give you a wedgy as Clark Kent, it's just a regular wedgy. When I'm Superma n I give you a Superwedgie. I won't go into the gruesome details. You'd be compressed into a sphere the size of a marble, and that would be the most pleasant part. I've only had to warn most people once about this, but you, you don't seem to listen. I hope for your sake you wore your grandmother's underpants today, because if you wore a thong you will be most likely to attract unwanted attention to yourself. I have x-ray goggles, and can see everything! The good, the bad, the - oh my eyes! I could have gone my whole life without seeing what goes on in a middle school faculty lounge. The hedonism! I pulled off my x-ray goggs just as Miss Biddlecombe opened the door. "Francis? shouldn't you be in Trigonometry?" Francis had read too many political books and threw the math book at her. "SCHOOL IS IMPRISONING US INTO A BASIC WORKING CLASS TO ENSLAVE US ALL!" I gasped as Ms. Biddlecombe sudde Nly admitted she was a slave in a government training centre. If she admitted she was disgusted while trying to be amused, she would be out of a job. Elvis Costello walked in and ruined everything. He caused her to smile, he caused her to feel. Nly didn't know how much more she could take without losing her sanity.



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