"Nnope!" I mumbled to myself as I moved the character away from the Minotaur, a boss in this nonsensical game. "Gotta heal fast-" A furry fist passes through my screen and punches me right in the face. "What the?!" I yelp, and try to stand up quickly but end up knocking my chair over in the process. I claw at the...the THING clinging to my forehead, subsequently obscuring my vision. "Ryan, what the Hell!" My roommate's laughter fills my ears, but all the while I desperately tried to remove whatever it was.It's clammy gelatinous appendages just constricted more tightly & I couldn't hear Ryan anymore. Apparently this is when I tripped & fell in the pool liquid nitrogen that somebody had left in the back yard. The gelatinous appendages all froze and burst setting me free to freeze free of it. That I woke up from that cold sleep is a miracle. No one would heed my cries and pleas of help, probably because I was stuck in 6 inch thick ice. Face down, which is why no-one heard my cries for help. My lips were frozen solid in the ice. Lucky thing I have huge nostrils that flare halfway around my head or I would have been stuck there, my wife Leah was able to then apply medicine to my damaged lips so they healed from that icy pole, luckily we had quite the supply of fireplace fuel that winter. when my wife Leah finally healed my lips i said to her why does this keeping happening and she said back to me "You really ought to stop using your bacon chap stick before letting the dog lick your mouth." Then a Louisiana-shaped iris out concluded the episode with a banjo riff.

 

Comments

1 LordVacuity's photo

I prefer to imagine a fiddle.

2 Woab's photo

What a perfectly ridiculous ending! I loved it.

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