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This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

  • This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

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  • It started off as such a good day too. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and I felt perfectly fine! But then I was struck by an overwhelming foreboding. Sweat popped on my

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  • wife's hairy upper lip. It beaded up and mixed with her wax. It made me think automotive things. I put my country sausage down. Suddenly I wasn't very hungry. The Day's Inn

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  • was a good place to get a case of hepatitis. "Should've made reservations at the Radisson down the road," said the bearded lady. I held back a retort but offered her my leftovers.

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  • She scratched food particles from her beard. "If I wanted your food I would have stuck my finger in it, but you're a human pincushion. So..." Just then a squad of health inspectors

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  • Knocked on the door. They were doing the annual inspection and she let them in. The previous tenants warned about this and were proven right. Smart meters told them off, recording

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  • it for legal reasons. The inspectors said that they had drawn more than the law allowed and that they must pay this fine right now. The fine was 5 dollops but they had been warned

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  • not to pay it, for fear that payment of the fine would make them look guilty. So the embezzling Inspectors opted to go to trial under the jurisdiction of a giant harp seal, who lay

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  • on a silk chaise lounge, taking selfies for her finsta. She was an adorable seal. But she was ruthless in the hunt for justice. The inspectors took their oath on the state seal.

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  • The state seal of justice was particularly ruthless against the club factory, whose main customers were seal beaters. If they thought SJWs were tough, wait until they deal with me!

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