Fat Boy Skinny and I met at the Sunset Grill…back when the Imperial Highway was still a dream…where a man with a washboard, spoon and harmonica could tell tales from times gone by. I had lost my washboard & spoon near Salinas when I slipped away from my faded jeans Pearl. Still, Fat Boy Skinny just wanted to hear one of my stories. So I made do with my abs & timbral qualities of my spleen. I retold a little fable: "the lower recesses of my stomach flattened and I came to recline as a doormat for a fine young gentleman with a Porsche the Porsche was beautiful and shiny and golden. i asked the man how expensive it was. The man selling the Porsche said "I can give it to ya fer 70 grand." I said "Maybe you'd consider 45 grand?" This was just the start of a long negotiation. I ended up buying it for $10.56. What can I say? I'm good at negotiating. I'd practically memorized "The Art of the Deal". I was admiring myself in the rear-view mirror when I smelled it...in the backseat. I frantically beeped down a patrol car & showed the officers the turd in my backseat:"I've no idea how it got there..it could be dangerous! You guys have to remove it!" The cops sent turd-sniffing police dogs into my back seat to make sure that it really was a turd. One of them ate it by mistake, thus destroying the evidence. At least my cab was clean. But the cops were pissed. “If Rascal comes down with an intestinal block from that damn turd he ate, I will pistol-whip your ass!” said the beefy lady cop. It was then I appreciate d the subtle irony of a cop eating a turd, since pigs are known for that sort of thing. Maybe irony isn't the right word, but still. A poop-eating pig encountering a bowel blockage

 

Comments

1 xxzyzxx's photo

The police are so full of shit X-{

2 Jimbeau's photo

Whose turd was it?

3 Woab's photo

I think the man selling the Porsche did it. He was a sore loser.

4 IceSquad's photo

You gotta understand, a Porsche is no ordinary car. Its AI has evolved the ability to convert its own waste products into turds, which it drops periodically onto the backseat. Porsche engineers have been made aware of this caveat, and are hard at work teaching their vehicles to flush after themselves.

5 LordVacuity's photo

Then the Porsche AI needs to be exposed to a dataset which shows how humans react to a turd in the back seat of their expensive cars. Maybe then it will evolve a more suitable system of elimination.

6 PurpleProf's photo

Oh man…y’all give me an endorphin rush! LOL (quite literally)!!!!

7 SlimWhitman's photo

Never mind the Taycan,
Porsche never stops evolving,
the Turdcan is here!

8 MadWorld's photo

You don’t need a Porsche to drive home your point: any disgruntled employee could have deposited the turd on the car’s backseat; a good drone armed with 8k digital video capability could show that…better, yet…a Tikad drone, developed by Duke Robotics, armed with a machine-gun and a grenade launcher could take out both the evil employee and the Porsche!

9 LordVacuity's photo

I didn’t know the Porsche was dating.

10 MadWorld's photo

Rascal is a K-9 officer…a German Shepherd Police Officer…

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