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Dmitry slumped in a jail cell with no cat

  • Dmitry slumped in a jail cell with no cat litter reckoned he was down to his last life & recalled how he started his life of petty crime smuggling weed to convicts in his cat colla

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  • r. Dmitry listened to the cell wall. "Thought you were Top Cat outside, but now you're here with us rats!" They would be after him, but he had a secret weapon, retractable claws.

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  • The only problem was that the retractable claws were attached to his toes. Dmitry however made the best out of this. He perfected his whole life the inverted claw-fu that was going

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  • to eclipsed by the club foot karate. Dmitry had started a trend known as handicapped martial arts. The first person who wanted "in" was Steven Hawking.

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  • Dmitry lifted up Steven Hawking in his motorised wheelchair and flung him through the dojo's 8th story window. With a computerised scream, the genius was no more.

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  • Months went by. One fine autumn day, Dmitry was chatting with Putin when the doors to the presidential tea parlour burst open. Stephen Hawking, in a Dalekian Bat-tank, rolled in.

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  • Putin reached into his trousers front, & it was revealed he kept a howitzer there, that he aimed at Hawking, who was saying: "Extremely delighted!" but sounded like: "Exterminate!"

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  • "Putin! Put that thing away before you kill someone!" Hawking exclaimed with as much emotion as technology provided for him. Vlad returned the weapon to his pants and began to weep

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  • crocodile tears. His daring knew no bounds. Brandishing his weapon like that had filled him unbridled gumption. He started to mamushcka while juggling knives with a bear on a bike.

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  • The bear grabbed his knives and stepped on the bike with his huge feet, making a noise heard all over the world. Splat! Splat! Splat! The cane toads left a black goo, the bear fled

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jul 26 2016 @ 03:05

    Dmitri's (Dmitry's) backstories: http://foldingstory.com/u5pvp/

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