He was getting ready to spread it like mayonaise

He was getting ready to spread it like mayonaise when the door flung open.

In stepped his mother, with a sombre expression on her face. "Don't do it, Scotty." The consequences are gonna be terrible. Please, for the love of God, DON'T DO IT!"

Scotty stood with the knife, holding it up, not looking at his mother. "I'm sorry, Mom. But it has to be done." He slashes the knife down, and cuts the tag off the mattress.

Her screams could be heard across the door as she fell, grasping for the knife in his hands. "No!" she screamed. "We work here! It's not to be removed except by customer!" The tag

on the windshield said, "Certified Pre-Owned," but he didn't care. Cynthia's bullshit wasn't going to stop him either. The urge to drive this Hummer through the showroom window had

come and gone and now all he wanted to do was drive and drive till the end of the world. What did he care if the warranty had run out, he wasn't going to live that long. He

thought that he barely had a week left before he died. It was time to live up. Little Johny was going to take Vegas by storm.

In his mind his mother was glaring at him, but he gave her a mental "fuck you" and a middle finger. He only hoped she wouldn't appear when he was tripping balls in Vegastomorrow.

Because his mother was a real

Stepford wife.