"I am not a consumer -- I am a free man!"

"I am not a consumer -- I am a free man!" That trademark rallying cry of the reboot rocketed "The Village" into record viewership and ad revenue on a fading cable network. Shane Mc

Henderson bought the cable network and, after moving headquarters to Poland, sold it to Donald Trump. His first decision was to

become the woman he always wanted to be. But the process wouldn't be easy. First, he had to find the perfect pair of breasts,,,but where? He knew he had to go to

a nightclub... any woman there was big-breasted. Hence, he opened Google Maps and found the nearest nightclub was

right across the street. He went in and spoke to the manager. "Hi, my name is Jerry and I want to be big-breasted, too. May I work here, please?" The manager looked him up and down

and frowned. "Buddy, you're gonna have to grow some better tits than that." Jerry pouted. "But, sir, please, it's been my dream-" His lip trembled pathetically.

Jerry's boss sighed:"The boob job was gonna be Stella's bonus, but I'll convince the board." "I love you boss!" "Please don't." Jerry imagined his wife's surprise at the new him.

When Jerry walking into the house with his new boobs, his wife didn't explode like he had expected her to, nor did she cry. She was relieved. "I had always wanted Jerry to have

such beautiful boobs" she gushed to her friend later in the evening. Jerry was both relieved and slightly disappointed by his wife's easy acceptance of his new boobs.

It all became clear to him later that night when (oh, about 3 a.m.) the baby woke up hungry again. His wife rolled over contentedly & murmured, "Your turn, dear."