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The light flashed on his answering machine.

  • The light flashed on his answering machine. He stood next to it, wishing he could listen to the messages, but those times were gone. Beside it was a list of songs after his euology

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  • was booed by the funeral attendants. He had spent all night writing it, a formula that worked in college. He had no idea that the crowd would turn on him. All he had said was

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  • that the deceased would certainly smell better in death than in life. This was meant to elicit laughter, not the hail of rocks & shoes that the funeral attendants launched at his

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  • flailing arms. He dodged the projectiles and begged the bare-footed throng for compassion. When the outrage subsided, he placed a rose in the button-hole of the corpse's tuxedo.

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  • He looked around at the displeased faces looking in on him, like a massive zombie horde barely held at bay. He looked back at the pale flesh as a tear fell down his cheek.

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  • not sure what to do, he began to sob like a baby, hoping that this would wake his mommy from her evil slumber. When the first mate took notice,

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  • he immediately ripped the parrot off his captains shoulder & slammed it in his mouth to muffle the sobbing. The first mate used his knot skills to tie a

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  • treasure chest to the end of a stick. The first mate then put the stick on the captain's hat, motivating his fatass to exercise. The parrot angrily burst out of the captain's mouth

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  • cavity, filling the air with sound. He name was Ginger Vitus. "I've flossed my tail feathers, she shrieked, The Captain chewed on that for a bit, then braced himself for

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  • a flogging from Ms. Vitus. The Captain would not have his Tenille in Ginger Vitus, as Ms. Vitus had the breath of Muskrat Love.

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