I once made it all the way Main Boss of the

I once made it all the way Main Boss of the Internet.

I pounded on the door and strode in. There he was, the "Big Cheese" who controlled the Internet. He glared at me chomping on his cigar and snapping his suspenders. "Whacha want?"

But the Internet Big Cheese had nothing on me. I was the Mayor, McCheese that is. This lummocks was in a lot of hot water. I smoothed my sesame seeded bun and snickered.

As the Mayor I was entitled to drive around in a Pickle Car that squirted special sauce onto vehicles that offended McCheese parking laws. The Big Internet Cheese had suffered from

moldy edges until the Knife From Above came down, trimmed off the edges & put it in a new Ziploc. McCheese was safe again. The Mayor needed everything perfect for Capt. Crackers'

visit. They had the butter and pieces of tomato and ham all ready for when the captain came to place them between his crunchy crackers. It was only a matter of time before he

noticed that Cook had sliced his thumb off & somehow it got mixed in with the tomato slices. The captain took a giant bite, tasting the flavors, trying to chew the rubbery "tomato"

which tasted pleasant despite the odd texture. He decided that he did like it. "Yeah, this is good," he told the cook who sucked on his bleeding knuckle. "Make it again tomorrow."

The cook slunk back into the desperate kitchen in both relief and despair "He liked it", he muttered, "but what am I to make tomorrow? How can come up with a new recipe by then?"

He scoured for the perfect Taco Tuesday recipe. Yak Foie Gras? Curds & Waay Too Much Butter? Nah. Dawn came & he had nothing. I must say, the cook tasted quite lovely char-grilled.