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Darth Alexejewitsch Vader arrived at the

  • Darth Alexejewitsch Vader arrived at the Mariyinsky palace in a litter carried by four storm troopers. He nodded to the assembled public. The Force was strong

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  • arming his sister's thorax. Darth Alexejewitsch Vader loved choking his sister out. Making someone pass out from a distance has a certain kind of appeal. The Mariyinsky palace was

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  • Showing the new Star Wars prequel. He was there at its premiere. The critics raved about it. this was 2-1/2 years before its release to the public, who needed something tonic after

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  • it flopped. He got gin & tonic. The problem with Phantom Menace is that is Phantom Menace. The Phantom Menace. I would see that these 20 years later. I didn't then & felt butthurt.

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  • Then I remembered Star Wars is terrible, so I didn't. I've always felt crossover films aren't imaginative enough, imagine Vader vs Chucky, or Jar Jar vs a Haitian priest.

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  • "Gungan begonegan!" the priest chanted as he burned the Limited Edition Episode 1 action figure. Somewhere in a galaxy far, far away a voice cried "Meesa think voodoo is doodoo!"

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  • before he collapsed into a large blob of plastic. Sensing the drop in energy of The Force, the Priest smiled and wiped his hands as he walked from the grave. No one was saved. Good

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  • riddance. Honestly, those specist humans could be so idiotic.

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  • They could be STINGY too. Known to squeeze every nickel until the buffalo farted, those humans were despised by all who came in contact with them. We decided to turn the tables on

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  • the humans. We collected all of the buffalo from the surrounding area and fed them a bunch of food that made them gassy. The resulting smell killed every human within a 500mi area.

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