"I have to gross pad stuff, so you might

"I have to gross pad stuff, so you might not want to watch me pee this time." said

my ex, stamping tampons to try and get them into his urethra. "I had the surgery," said his hooker. "Just a few more hormone shots is all," "she" said. He was stuck on the crapper.

Someone had used the last bit of TP, and he really hated to ask anyone in an adjacent stall. Last time he had done that, he'd been handed a live seagull under the stall, which

put up quite the struggle before being pinned into an appropriate position for a proper wiping. This time he figured he'd just tear a sleeve off like any normal person would. His a

eropostale shirt was dirtier than dirt, so ripping it off didn't feel so hurt. He proceeded to do what he wanted done, put that sleeve up between his buns, wiped around and said

"Oh yes indeedy-deed. I feel much more sanitary now." He was fastidious about his personal grooming and, straightening his dapper derby hat, he walked tight-assed to the counter.

He ordered the Moe #5, which had beef tongue, roast beef, cheddar, american cheese and ham. It was almost a double decker! The Croydon Hotel was across the street, after 100 years.

As the Resteraunt patrons ran to the windows to gawk at The Croydon he pulled his watch out of his fob pocket and checked the time. 2 minutes slow in a hundred years was not bad at

all. He left the restaurant and ambled up the damp cobblestone street doffing his hat at the ladies, who covered their mouths at the smell of him. He didn't care if he was popular

, suffice he was finally being noticed, & he had his BO to thank for that. As entire crowds parted for him like the Red Sea, he resolved never to bathe again>> Skunk Punk- Origins.