Capt. Cob re-lit his pipe then leaned against the taffrail, trying to remember some nautical terms. "Have the youngest 'prentice batten down the scuttle," he shouted to a wild-eyed, dishevelled sailor who asked,"Don't you hear the moans of the newly dead below decks?" Capt Cob dropped his pipe. "You're my temporary replacement," said Charon. "Reme meber the Titans is a parable about racial harmony, yoked to the formula of a sports movie. " Capt. Cob was replacing Charon to ferry the dead. The Capt gave him a summer film to gnaw on while they worked, since he was going to need sharp teeth for his upcoming role. "Not that you'd care." He said. "Humans are never interested in what I do." Francois took out a metal filer and performed a touch-up on his teeth, making sure they were razor sharp. I pointed out that Francois was in fact human, but just special (in quotation marks). By now a crowd had gathered at the edge of the stage, and I tossed Francois a live chicken. The audience gasped as he bit its head off and fried it in oil . Soon the hall filled with the tantalizing smell of KFC.The audience gazed awestruck as Francois reattached the chicken's head. Maddened by the aroma, it began eating itself! And at once, it ate and vomited itself until it was nothing more than a shaggy bill atop a pile of chicken feces. “Try to beat that, Bobby Flay!” Francois cried above the applause. Bobby Flay concentrated. The foundations of the building were beginning to shake. Audience members heads began to explode left and right. A ear landed on Francois' shoulder. Francois turned his gaze to the ear on his shoulder and let out the most high pitch scream anyone had ever heard. Bobby looked at him in disbelief, shook his head, and continued on



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