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I knew South-London would never feel the

  • I knew South-London would never feel the same without my dearest friend, Jane, to cart me around all the shops I found boring. Everything was better with her around. In the summer,

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  • Jane and I would race from the London Eye to Buckingham Palace. Despite her short legs, she would beat me every time. We always knew we were BFFs, but destiny was pulling us apart.

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  • But however much destiny tried to pull us BFF's apart, Chaos and Lethargy kept pushing us closer together. Yes, it is awful but true and I might as well say it here, Jane and I wer

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  • e incompatible on so many levels. When I wore spots, she wore stripes. When I went blond, she went & hennaed. When I slept with her boyfriend, she had a problem. I sat my BFF, Jane

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  • dear, I know you think it is just awful me shagging your BF but 'you' are my BFF am I right? I shared my notes in class so you should share him. Share 'n share alike? Right Jane?

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  • Jane couldn't believe her ears. She was shaking with fury. But what could she do? Jane was soft spoken. "Yes" she said through a hidden smile. Jenna had no idea what awaited her.

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  • Being rather reticent, Jane found passive aggressive ways to express her anger at Jenna. She hid Jenna's purse. She hung the toilet paper the opposite way. She drank from Jenna's

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  • favorite mug & left it unwashed on her desk. She unraveled two feet of toilet paper in the bathroom & blamed it on Jenna's cat. She *accidentally* erased Jenna's phone messages.

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  • She put a fish head in between Jenna's mattress and box springs. She squeezed all the toothpaste down to the wrong end of the tube. She put salt in the sugar bowl and vice-versa.

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  • And then finally, her coup de fouet: she slept with Jenna's father. Then MARRIED him, becoming Jenna's mother-in-law! Hahahahahaaaa! Revenge was sooooo sweet!

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9 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Nov 20 2013 @ 19:25

    Way to go, Jane!!!

  2. SlimWhitman Nov 21 2013 @ 03:02

    Well well, we seem to have quite a bit of potential for passive aggresive revenge here on folding story. Maybe folding is therapy? Anyway, a fun just desserts story.

  3. Sloth Nov 21 2013 @ 12:38

    I think this story went along nicely. We've learned 1.) Not to mess with Jane and 2.) Jane has some issues she might want to get checked out.

  4. lucielucie Nov 21 2013 @ 14:32

    It's nice to have a story with 2 female protagonists - we don't get a lot of those.

  5. lucielucie Nov 21 2013 @ 14:35

    I mean stories with those.

  6. lucielucie Nov 21 2013 @ 14:36

    I mean stories with 2 of them.

  7. lucielucie Nov 21 2013 @ 14:37

    Blimey

  8. foldmeonce Nov 21 2013 @ 15:30

    Jane's got some anger management issues. o.O Nice story, though! I agree with lucielucie - we should have more stories like this.

  9. lucielucie Nov 27 2013 @ 13:45

    http://www.mediafire.com/view/wc4lbjuu8s0kqsj/PassAg.wav Just read the story out - it's incredibly coherent, considering...

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