My Grandfather motioned with his feeble hand as I approached the bed. I bent down to listen to his last words. "Listen son... Eat... Sleep... Rave... Repeat." "Wha-at?" I whispered in my dying grandfather's ear."I didn't hear..." But he was gone.I missed his last instructions to me: Listen. Feet. Sleep. Dave. And then 1 other word. Pete? I closed Granpa's unseeing eyes & sniffled. Was it possible that old Grandad knew about how I slept with Dave & Pete & had a foot fetish? Perhaps he was trying to warn me about the fungus among us. How could dear old Granpa have known? Then the fungus whispered to me "He knew." Granpa's unseeing eyes opened. "I have the fungus now.", he croaked. I looked over & saw a large child-sized shiitake mushroom in bed with Granpa. "Git your peaty ass out of that bed," I burbled to the shroom. It ignored me & just cuddled closer to the shriveled pasty corpse that was grandpa. Burbling didn't work, so I chortled, "Get out of bed giant shiitake!" The mushroom emperor opened a gill and let loose A giant eyeball that took up residence in the ceiling. It spoke Chinese. Grandpa had been studying Chinese since 1935. It wrote with a brush and spilled ink everywhere! We tried to teach it to type on a computer, but it said that it couldn't see the screen without binocular vision. That didn't sound right to me, but I suppose a giant eyeball would know about those kind of things. "If you've never been twinned up, how have you managed to survive to this old age, for a giant eyeball, without binocular vision?"The giant eyeball considered this for a moment and then, shrugging its optic nerves replied, "Oh well. At least I've been able to get drunk without having double vision." And I suppose that's something.



1 Woab's photo

Isn’t it weird how Pete is mentioned in 2 and 3, and Peat is mentioned over a month later in 5?

2 SlimWhitman's photo

It is. Eerie.
By the way the fungus among us is a very old meme on this site
is the first occurrence I think.

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