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I sat down at the drum set. It had been a

  • I sat down at the drum set. It had been a long time. Upstairs, I could hear the family whispering about something or another. I had enough. I took the drum sticks and began

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  • to put up my hair in a messy bun. The drum sticks held them in place. Most girls would use chop sticks or pencils, but my hair is much too unruly for that. I turned on the radio

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  • and tried to contact someone, anyone. The damn drum sticks in my unruly coif were ruining my reception so I whipped my hair down, carefully not to let the rats nip the ends. Dark

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  • Man was being projected on the club's wall. What a lame joint, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I did a Buddy Rich trio on the toms and black smoke oozed out from the set. Soon

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  • talent scouts started showing up at the club to check out my mad percussion skills. The babes love it, as did the

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  • aborigine natives who lived in the surrounding area. The rhythmic pulse of the bass drum brought back memories of their homeland. So much so that the oldest of them, began to

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  • strip down to his loincloth and perform the sacred fertility dance. There was much pelvic thrusting and hopping about, followed quickly by a moderate cardiac arrest. By moderate, I

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  • mean that his dance became quite imbalanced because only his right side was dancing where as his left side was numb. He looked like a marionette with the left strings cut through.

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  • This inspired FatBoy Slim to develop a new funky dance electro beat called "My Foot's Asleep but I Gotta Boogie." Girls wore t-shirts which read

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  • "I can't feel my legs, and I'll probably put out tonight." Slim reaped millions from the culture-aware marketing ploy, and he shared his money with his closest friends and family.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jul 29 2011 @ 18:32

    Slim doesn't share his money... ;-) But seriously, this is great, where's FatBoy Slim's next gig?

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