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Take a fist and put it through a Zombies

  • Take a fist and put it through a Zombies chest, grab whatever hot and salty goo is in there and twist. That's how I like to start my morning. Grim. Fetid. Committed.

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  • Slap a fish and see that it flew, grab the weather And talk and carefree with my flu in there to get the jist. That's how I like to start my afternoon. Intestinal fortitude to win

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  • The job I had interviewed for three years ago at cordon bleu. The guy still remembered me, probably because I called constantly to find out about a second interview.

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  • I'd be damned if I didn't cash in my 2nd chance to land my dream job as chef of the cordon bleu. I had to win a cookoff between me & a chubby french guy to make the most innovative

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  • use of fish brains, mandrake root, and the placenta of a new born messiah. The judges wanted to see the use of at least three of the Forbidden Cooking Techniques of The Mad Cook of

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  • Warrensburg, Missouri. These techniques included the tossing of raw eggs at least ten feet in the air before cooking, the use of sheep eyes as wedding cake decorations, and the

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  • Missourians love it. They say long and happy marriages come to those who start each day with a fermented egg smashed against the forehead. This is why I knew I had to get myself

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  • some chickens and a rooster. I built them a coop in the living room, and I moved my bedroom to the basement...to better ferment the eggs. Unfortunately, my preoccupation with eggs

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  • SUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The eggs exploded and french people suddenly ate them.

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  • Within minutes, it was a crisis; within hours, a life-threatening plague. The French infected the Italians who infected the Britts who infected the Americans. Zombie Apocalypse.

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2 Comments

  1. MadWorld Jan 02 2019 @ 01:01

    Wow...after almost 6 years, the story begins and ends with zombies.

  2. LordVacuity Jan 02 2019 @ 03:17

    Eggcellent!

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